


My Despair

by Kiseki_Kurusu



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, F/M, Multi, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-26 14:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18181730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiseki_Kurusu/pseuds/Kiseki_Kurusu
Summary: Hikaru suffers from schizophrenia and depression. The girls worry about him and are willing to do anything to help him. But what if it gets worse? You may select the ending you want unless if you choose to read all endings. The girl you ship the Protagonist with has 2 endings each. 1 is good and 1 is bad. Either way, the ending choice is yours.





	1. The Story

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story does deal with suicide and depression. Be aware of what you are gonna read.

 

_The main story..._

Hikaru was sitting on his bed. He had just had another mental breakdown.

**_You're so stupid..._ **

**_You're so pathetic..._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head with both hands. "No...stop, please!" He begged to the voices. The voices in his head continued to call him names. He would often hear these voices and sadly, he can't control them. 

**_Pathetic...why join that stupid club?_ **

**_You're worthless..._ **

"PLEASE STOP!" Hikaru cried out. He began crying again. "WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE MY HEAD?!" He cried out again. After a few minutes, he heard knocking on his door. He looked out the window as tears were still streaking down his face. It was Sayori. "What does she want...?" He said. He studied her.

She has a worried look on her face. She knocked again. Hikaru then went downstairs.

**_Don't answer the door. She just wants to call you worthless._ **

**_Ugh, she is horrible just like you are._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head again. "S...Shut up!" He yelled. He then heard knocking again, this time with a voice. "H-Hikaru? Are you okay?" Sayori asked. Hikaru then grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. "I'm fine, Sayori." He said. He made a smile through a pained expression. It feels like the smile was forced. Which, in fact, was.

_**You disgust me...** _

Hikaru shivered at hearing the voices in his head. Sayori looked like she wasn't buying any excuse. "I'm serious, Hikaru." She said. "Are you really okay?" Hikaru then shook his head no. "Ok, fine." He said. "You got me. I'm not fine." Sayori began to feel even more concerned for him. "Just tell me what's wrong." She said. After all, she worried about him. She worries about everybody. Then again, that is what she does best. 

"I guess I didn't tell you." He said. "The truth is...I suffer from schizophrenia and depression..." Sayori covered her mouth with her hands out of shock. "You...You suffer...from depression?" She asked. Hikaru nodded. "Well, now you know." He said. Sayori began to feel tears in her eyes and hugged him. "I'm so sorry!" She said. "I should have known!" Hikaru then hugged back. It's really not her fault. Sure, she suffers from depression. But in this case, she got better from the advice from Monika and Hikaru. Was Hikaru hearing these voices while he was giving advice to her? She didn't know, but now she does. 

"It's okay, Sayori." He said. "It's not your fault. It's mine." Sayori shook her head. "I'll make sure to let Monika know!" She said. Hikaru then gasped and shook his head. "N-No!" He said, the smile fading from his face. This sudden answer startled Sayori.  "Please...don't..." Hikaru continued as he felt tears coming down his face.

"H-Hikaru...? Are you...crying?" Sayori asked. "Just...just leave..." Hikaru said and closed the door. This worried Sayori even further.

**_You're so pathetic, telling her to leave just like that. You're so stupid._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head once again and decided to go to bed.

_The next day..._

Hikaru got up and did his usual morning routine.

**_Pathetic...Pathetic...Pathetic...You will always be pathetic._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head. "Shut up!" He yelled. Once wearing his school uniform and shoes, he grabbed his bag and left.

_Time skip_

Once arriving in the Literature Club, Sayori then grabbed his arms tightly. "S-Sayo-" He was cut off as she dragged him gently to Monika. "Hikaru, are you okay?" Monika asked to him. "Yes, I'm fine." Hikaru said.

**_Stop lying, you fucking pathetic idiot._ **

Hikaru then winced and shut his eyes. "Doesn't seem like you're fine, Hikaru." Sayori said. "I told her about your condition." Hikaru's eyes opened only to show his eyes widened. Natsuki and Yuri overheard and came up. "What happened?" Yuri asked. "Yeah, what gives?" Natsuki asked. ' _Why did Sayori do this...? I told her not to do it! So why did she...?_ ' Hikaru thought in his head. Hikaru can see the confusion in their eyes. He looked at Sayori and Monika. Sayori's sky blue eyes and Monika's emerald green eyes were filled with concern. They wanted to know if he was okay or not.

**_See? She betrayed you._ **

**_What are you waiting for? Do it!_ **

**_Yell at her!_ **

**_YELL AT ALL OF THEM_ ** _**!!!!** _

With a yell that was filled with anger, betrayed, and hurt, Hikaru suddenly turned around and slapped Sayori across her face, which made her fall. Everyone gasped at this. He then kicked Monika's leg, which caused her to fall backward. He then punched Natsuki in the stomach, causing her to crash into desks. For Yuri, he couldn't hit her. He didn't want to. He knows that he didn't want to hurt the purple hair girl. She was too shy. Sure, she is into knives, but he doesn't hate her for it. He tried to hold his hand back, only for the voices to get stronger in his head. 

_**You're so pathetic. Hurt her. Hurt her!** _

Hikaru had no choice but to listen to the voices and slapped Yuri. She yelped and fell to the ground. The girls knew he hurt them out of rage. "Why did you tell Monika, Sayori?!" Hikaru yelled. "Why?! Why?!" 

_**Wow, you are so pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic idiot.** _

Hikaru clutched onto his head with both of his hands. " _AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_ " He cried out as the voices in his head got stronger. Sayori, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at him as they held onto the part of the body they got hurt at. Hikaru slowly reached his bag and grabbed it. He looked at them and made a weak smile with tears coming down his face.

Hikaru then ran out of the classroom while beginning to cry.

_**You're so stupid. Just go and die already.** _

Hikaru yelled as he ran out. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

 


	2. Rainbow: Sayori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Good Ending for Sayori. She decides to go to his house. Only to see something...horrific.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Attempted suicide is in this ending.

_I like to call this ending...Rainbow._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said and ran out of the classroom to catch up with him. Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at each other. Monika's emerald green eyes, Natsuki's pink eyes and Yuri's purple eyes were filled with worry. They hoped that Sayori would be okay. They hoped that she won't get hurt by Hikaru again. 

As Sayori was running, she saw Hikaru's house. As she looked through the windows, he saw no sign of him in the living room or in the kitchen. She then knocked on the door. "H-Hikaru...?" Sayori asked. No response. She didn't hear footsteps. She heard nothing. Sayori saw a key on the ground. He dropped his key. She picked it up. It looked beautifully silver like any other keys. After unlocking the door of his house, she went inside to find Hikaru.

"Hikaru?" She called out. She looked in the living room. Nothing. She looked in the kitchen. Nothing. She then looked in his room. Nothing. She then looked in the bathroom, only to be horrified of the sight. Hikaru was on the floor. The floor had a big blood puddle on the tiles of the floor. Hikaru had slit his wrists with a knife. She saw blood running down his arms from the slit wrists he did on his arms. She also noticed the bloody knife. She gasped as she realize that the blood on the knife was recent as she also found out that the slit wrists was also recent. 

He was losing blood. Sayori then got on her phone and called 911. After calling them, she fell on her knees next to him. "Why, Hikaru?" She asked quietly. "Why...?"

_Minutes later..._

The ambulance arrives and takes him away to the hospital. Sayori decides to go with them as she felt even more concerned for him. The moment they enter the hospital, they took him to the emergency room. Sayori waited outside the room. She had texted the girls about it. All of the girls were really shocked about it. They didn't know Hikaru was gonna pull this off. 

_Monika: Oh my god..._

_Natsuki: Did he really do that?! Holy crap!_

_Yuri: Oh no...I hope he will be okay..._

Sayori began to feel an urge to cry. Did the voices really tell him to do this? She slowly began crying. She hoped he was okay and he survived. After a few minutes, a doctor came out. "How is he, doctor?" She asked. The doctor made a small smile. "He's okay." He said. "We managed to stop the blood from leaking out of his wrists." Sayori sighed in relief. "Would you like to see him?"

Sayori nodded. "Yes, please!" She said. He opened the door and let her in. Once she arrived, she almost gasped. There was machines trying to save Hikaru's life as his wrists are covered in bandages. The doctor decided to leave her alone with him. Sayori walked up to him. Hikaru slowly began waking up.

"H-huh...?" He said while waking up. "W-Why am I alive...?"

**_You disgust me...I can't believe you survive that._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head. Sayori then hugged him. "What were you thinking, Hikaru?!" She asked. She began crying again. "I almost lost you!" Hikaru didn't hug back.

**_Don't listen to her._ **

**_She's just trying to guilt trip you._ **

Hikaru winced. "W-Why do you care for me, Sayori?" He asked to her. "Why I care for you?" She replied. "Because I care for you! Because I like you! Because I love you!" Hikaru felt stunned at this. "Sayori...you...you...you love me?" He asked. Sayori nodded. "Of course!" She replied to him.

Hikaru then attempted to smile.

**_Those words are lies. Don't listen to her._ **

Hikaru suddenly began crying. "Please stop..." Hikaru said. He didn't say this to Sayori, but he said this to the voices. "I...I love you too, Sayori." He replied to her. Sayori looked at him. "You really mean it?" She asked. Hikaru nodded. "And I'm so sorry for slapping you."

She shook her head. "It's fine." She said. "I know it was the voices in your head that told you to do it." She said. Hikaru nodded.

**_You're so disgusting._ **

**_Go! Jump off the rooftop of this hell!_ **

Hikaru then screamed. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He cried out at the top of his lungs. Sayori hugged him tightly. "I think...I think the rainclouds you had have now got inside my head..." Hikaru said as his eyes begin to fill with tears. Doctors rushed in. Sayori then looked at them. "He suffers from schizophrenia" She said. "Is there anything that can help him?" She asked as Hikaru began crying as he was hugging her.

_Minutes later..._

"I think...I think I'm ready to go look for a psychiatrist." Hikaru said. Sayori looked at him. "Are you sure?" Sayori asked. Hikaru nodded. "After all, you said you cared for me, right?" He asked. Sayori nodded. "Thank you, Sayori...Thank you so much..." Hikaru said.


	3. Raincloud: Sayori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Bad Ending for Sayori. She decides to go to his house...only to see something horrific...so horrific that she knew that she would never see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a suicide in this ending. Be aware of this.

_An ending I like to call...Raincloud_

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said and ran out of the classroom to catch up with him. Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at each other.  Monika's emerald green eyes, Natsuki's pink eyes and Yuri's purple eyes were filled with worry. They hoped that Sayori would be okay. They hoped that she won't get hurt by Hikaru again. 

As Sayori was running, she saw Hikaru running to his house. Hikaru then stopped as he felt her presence. "Sayori...?" He quietly said. He turned around to see her. "What are you doing here...?" Hikaru asked to her. "I want to talk to you. Why did you hurt us?" She asked. "It happens to be one of the symptoms in my condition." He replied. "Aggression." Sayori looked at him. She did research about schizophrenia. It was one of the behavioral symptoms when people has this type of condition.

"Are you hiding something from me?" She asked. Hikaru's yellow eyes widened but he nodded. "The truth is, Sayori, is that I...I..." He said but began stuttering. "I-I love you." Sayori felt shocked at this. "I-I love you too, Hikaru." She replied to him with a smile. Hikaru then smiled back. But Sayori could tell that he had a pained expression. She could sense that his heart was hurting as he confessed his love for her. She had felt this feeling when she had depression.

_**She's lying, she doesn't love you.** _

_**You're disgusting.** _

_**What are you waiting for? Go inside your house!** _

Hikaru then clutched onto his head and screamed at the top of his lungs. " _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!**_ " Hikaru then looked at Sayori and gave her one more weak smile before running inside his house and locking the door. This smile was filled with pain. She wondered why. Was it because of him confessing to her? Did it made him feel even worse about his life, knowing that they would no longer be friends? She didn't know. 

Sayori felt startled by this. She then knocked on the door. "H-Hikaru...?" Sayori asked. "Go away!" He yelled. She heard a door opening and closing. Sayori saw a key on the ground. He dropped his key. She picked it up and waited for 30 minutes to see if he was going to come out. He didn't though. She then unlocked the door and went to find Hikaru. No sound came out of the house. 

"Hikaru?" She called out. She looked in the living room. Nothing. She looked in the kitchen. Nothing. She then looked in his room. Nothing. She then looked in the bathroom, only to be horrified of the sight. Hikaru was hanging. He had killed himself by hanging. On the sink was a suicide note. She picked it up. It was a little wet. Was he crying as he wrote this? She looked to see dried tears falling from his emotionless yellow eyes. She felt an urge to vomit. She then touched his hand. It felt lifeless. His lifeless hand felt so cold. Cold like ice. She then called 911.

As ambulance arrived and took him away, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri came in. The pain they got from Hikaru hurting them was gone. "What happened, Sayori?" Monika asked. "He...Hikaru hanged himself." Sayori said. She was holding the suicide note in her hands. Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri felt horrified. "No...way..." Yuri said. "Oh my god..." Natsuki said. Monika's eyes widened but she didn't say anything.

She took the suicide note from Sayori's hands gently and read it.

_Goodbye_

_I have suffered from depression and_ _schizophrenia for a very long time already. I can't deal with it anymore. It causes me so much pain. So much pain that I can't bear with it. I can't deal with it anymore. I give up._ **_I'm done._ **

_I can't fight it anymore, no matter how much I want to. I want to be with Sayori and to stay by her side forever but this will never happen._

_Monika, Natsuki, or Yuri, if you are reading this, I loved the Literature Club so much. It always gives me happiness every time I come to a club meeting. But my happiness is gone now._

_Sayori, if you are reading this, please know that I still love you and that it's not your fault for dragging me to a breaking point. I wanted to spend my life with you but it's now no longer possible._

_Goodbye, everyone...Goodbye..._

Monika dropped the note as she felt tears coming in her eyes. After Natsuki and Yuri read it, they felt an urge of tears. Sayori began crying hard. She and Hikaru confessed to each other and they both hoped to have a life together.

Sayori wondered why did he do this. He didn't deserve this fate. He really didn't.


	4. Beautiful Reality: Monika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Good Ending for Monika. The president herself, decides to go to his house, only to see something that is hard for her to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a attempted suicide. Be aware of this.

_A ending I like to call...Beautiful Reality._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said but was stopped by Monika. "No. I'll take it from here." Monika said and ran to catch up with him. Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at each other. After all, she is the President. Sayori's sky blue eyes, Natsuki's pink eyes, and Yuri's purple eyes were filled with surprise and worry at the same time. They were surprised that Monika, the President of the Literature Club, has chosen to go after Hikaru. 

As she ran to catch up, she saw papers on the floor. She picked them up. These papers are all Hikaru's. Where did he go, then? Monika looked at these papers. These were all poems that he wrote. Did he discard them while he was running? Or did these papers slipped out of his bag without him knowing? Monika then looked around for Hikaru. He wasn't anywhere around the school. She then ran to his house. She knocked on the door. "Go away!" Hikaru yelled.

She also noticed he had dropped his key to his house. Once picking up the key, she unlocked the door and ran inside the house. "Hikaru?" She called out. No response. She checked the living room. Nothing. She checked the kitchen. Nothing. She checked the bathroom. Nothing. She checked the closet. Nothing. The only place she hasn't checked is his room.

She then opened the door to see Hikaru holding a noose. "M-Monika?!" Hikaru asked, startled. His yellow eyes widened. Monika's emerald green eyes also widened and she covered her mouth with both of her hands. He was trying to kill himself by hanging. "I-It's not what it looks like...!" Hikaru said. Monika's shocked turned into a stern face. She was not gonna let him kill himself.

Monika then grabbed the noose from Hikaru's hands. He tried to grab it, but Monika threw it out the room. "M-Monika! What are yo-" He was cut off by a embrace. "Hikaru...please don't kill yourself." Monika said. "You know we all care for you. You know this isn't right."

Hikaru shook his head. "Why do you all care about me?" He asked. "I don't deserve it." Monika shook her head. "Of course you deserve it, Hikaru." Monika replied. "After all, your reality is filled with people that care for you. Do you really want to throw that away?"

"I...No..." Hikaru said as he felt he was about to cry. "To be honest, I was hiding something from you." Monika said with a slight blush. "And that is...?" Hikaru asked. "I'm...I'm in love with you." Monika confessed, her blush getting strong. Hikaru also blushed.

**_These words are lies!_ **

**_You know she is gonna betray you later..._ **

Hikaru clutched onto his head. "Please, stop!" Hikaru yelled to the voices. Monika hugged him tightly. "Monika...I'm also in love with you!" Hikaru confessed as he tried his best to fight against the voices. Monika smiled and kept hugging him. He hugged back as he cried.

They decided to be a couple and Hikaru also decided that he would go see a psychiatrist to help his depression and he also decided to go get help for his schizophrenia as he doesn't want to hear voices in his head anymore. He told Monika that the voices caused him so much pain and that he was listening to the voices.

He also explained to Monika that he wants to be by her side forever. Monika smiled. "You always will be by my side forever, Hikaru." She said. Hikaru smiled and hugged her. Monika hugged back. Monika, the President of the Literature Club, and Hikaru has become a couple.

Monika texted the girls that Hikaru was alright and they were a couple. Sayori felt happy for the two. Natsuki was also happy about it and said she will bake cupcakes for them. Yuri also felt happy for them but Monika knew she was sulking.

"I promise, Hikaru." She said. Hikaru looked up at her. "You promise what?" He asked. "I promise that I will always be by your side like you promised you will be by my side." She replied. Hikaru smiled. "Thank you, Monika...Thank you very much." Hikaru said with a smile.


	5. My Reality: Monika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Bad Ending for Monika. The president herself, decides to go to his house, only to see something that is hard for her to see. Something very hard to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnung: There is a suicide in this ending. Be aware of this.

_An ending I like to call...My Reality._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said but was stopped by Monika. "No. I'll take it from here." Monika said and ran to catch up with him. Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at each other. After all, she is the President. Sayori's sky blue eyes, Natsuki's pink eyes, and Yuri's purple eyes were filled with surprise and worry at the same time. They were surprised that Monika, the President of the Literature Club, has chosen to go after Hikaru. 

As she ran to catch up, she saw papers on the floor. She picked them up. These papers are all Hikaru's. Where did he go, then? Monika looked at these papers. These were all poems that he wrote. Did he discard them while he was running? Or did these papers slipped out of his bag without him knowing? Monika then looked around for Hikaru. He wasn't anywhere around the school. She then ran to his house. She knocked on the door. "Hikaru?" She called. No response.

She also noticed he had dropped his key to his house. She unlocked the door and ran in. "Hikaru?" She called out. No response. She checked the living room. Nothing. She checked the kitchen. Nothing. She checked the bathroom. Nothing. She checked the closet. Nothing. The only place she hasn't checked is his room. She checked in his room. Nothing.

She then left his house and went to go look for him.

_Meanwhile with Hikaru..._

Hikaru was at a bridge. He had a written paper in his hand. Tears were running down his face from his yellow eyes. He didn't want to do this, but he was giving in to the voices. The voices want him to do this. 

_**Go! Jump off!** _

_**What are you waiting for? Do it!** _

Hikaru clutched onto his head, wrinkling the paper as a result. He grabbed the rail. "Hikaru, no!" A voice said. He turned to see the voice was Monika. "M-Monika?" He said. Monika then grabbed his arm. "Please...don't end your life like this, Hikaru." Monika said.

Hikaru then shook his head. "Why do you care for me, Monika?" He asked. "I care for you because I like you!" She confessed. "I love you, Hikaru!" Hikaru felt shocked from this. "Monika...I...I love you too..." Hikaru replied to her. "Come with me, I promise I'll stay by your side." Monika said. Hikaru nodded and took her hand as she held it out for him. "You know there is people that care for you in your reality. Please...don't try to do this again, Hikaru." Monika added in. Hikaru nodded. "I...I won't do this again...I promise, Monika." Hikaru replied to her. She nodded with a small smile on her face. 

The other hand let go of the rail.

**_She's lying!_ **

**_She's a liar!_ **

**_She hates you!_ **

**_Jump off the bridge! Now!_ **

Hikaru fell on his knees and clutched onto his head and screamed at the top of his lungs. " _AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!_ " Monika turned around to see Hikaru crying out. The small smile that was on her face faded away with a frown filled with concern. She walked to him and hugged him. Suddenly, in a swift move, he pushed her away from him. While at that, he gave her the paper he wrote on.

He then grabbed the rail and then...

Monika screamed as she attempted to grab his arm, but to no avail. He had fell to his death as he hit the water. She began crying slowly. She realized she had the paper Hikaru gave to her before jumping off. She then unfolded it and read it.

_My Reality_

_I'm in a reality where I'm cursed._  
_A reality that is cursed._  
_A cursed reality will never set me free._  
_As I hear voices in my head, they get stronger._  
_I can no longer fight it like a knight._

 _I'm in a reality where I'm trapped._  
_Trapped like a small weak mouse._  
_The cursed reality I'm in is like a cage._  
_A cage that keeps me locked forever._

 _I lose emotions like how an angel loses wings._  
_I can no longer fight anymore._  
_The voices get stronger and stronger._  
_Some reality I'm in._  
_Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye..._  
_Goodbye, cruel reality..._

Monika began to cry harder. She wished things were different. So different so that Hikaru wouldn't have to end his life like this. If only she could go back and change everything, none of this would happen.

But he's gone. Gone away from her arms.

Gone from the cruel reality he had suffered from throughout his life.

A cruel reality that was a cage to him.


	6. Sweet Cupcake: Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Good Ending for Natsuki. The tsundere decides to find Hikaru. Only to find out he is not in his house, but somewhere else.

_A ending I like to call...Sweet Cupcake._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said but was stopped by Natsuki. "Nope! I'll go after him!" Natsuki said and ran after him.   Sayori, Monika, and Yuri looked at each other. Sayori's sky blue eyes, Monika's emerald green eyes, and Yuri's purple eyes were filled with worry. They hoped that the cute tsundere  of the club will be okay. They also hoped that Hikaru won't hurt her.  As Natsuki ran to catch up with him, she tripped and fell. "Ouch!" She yelped. She was okay and got up. "I better go see what's up with him." She said and continued running. Once arriving to Hikaru's house, she knocked on the door. "Hikaru, open up!" She said. No response. She noticed the key to his house. She unlocked the door and got inside the house.  "Hikaru? Hikaru?" She called out. No response. She sighed. "I guess I'm gonna have to check the rooms." She said and looked around the house. There was no signs of him anywhere around his house. She sighed. "Hikaru, where are you?!" She yelled. Suddenly, her phone buzzed.

"Huh? Who texted me?" She said and read the message.

_Sayori: Natsuki, come quick! Hikaru is at the rooftop! He is about to jump off!_

This made Natsuki freeze in place. She then bolted out of Hikaru's house. She quickly began running to the school to see Sayori, Monika, and Yuri. "Natsuki, there you are!" Sayori said while crying. Yuri is also worried. The entire school came out and are telling Hikaru to not jump off. Monika was calling through the megaphone to convince Hikaru not to jump off. "Hikaru, don't jump off!" Monika said and it echoed through the megaphone.  Natsuki decided to go and do something risky and ran to the school rooftop. "Natsuki, wait!" Monika called after her but she didn't stop. As she was running up the stairs to the rooftop, she began to shed tears. She didn't want Hikaru to end his life by jumping off the school's rooftop.

She had a crush on him. She loved him. She didn't want to lose him. He understood her problems, what she was going through. Once arriving, she opened the doors and saw Hikaru. His arms were shaking as he cried. Hikaru was crying as he had a poem in his hand. He then dropped it.

_**What are you waiting for? Do it!** _

_**Jump off! Jump off right now!** _

Hikaru then screamed. "AAAAAAHHHHH!" He then lunged forward, causing everyone to scream.

But...it was stopped as Hikaru didn't fall to the ground. Everybody stopped and looked. They saw Natsuki grabbing him and pulling him away. "N-Natsuki?! What are you doing?" Hikaru asked. Natsuki then pulled him into a hug. "I'm saving your life! Duh!" She replied.

"But...why?" Hikaru asked. "Why do you care about me?" Natsuki glared at him. "Why? Why?!" She said. This startled Hikaru. "Because I like you! Because I love you!" Hikaru then blushed when she said those words. Natsuki seemed to realize what she said, because she covered her mouth with her hands.

Hikaru then smiled as tears fell down his face. "I love you too, Natsuki." He replied to her. Natsuki then took her hands away from her mouth.

**_You disgust me._ **

**_She hates you! Don't listen to her!_ **

**_What a pathetic boy you are._ **

Hikaru began crying out. "MAKE IT STOP!" He cried out as he clutched onto his head. Natsuki then ran to him and hugged him. "It's okay, Hikaru." She said. "It's okay. I promise I'll be by your side forever." Hikaru nodded and he hugged her back. "Do you really promise that, Natsuki?" He asked, wanting to know if those words she said were genuine. Natsuki nodded. "Absolutely." She replied.

Hikaru smiled as his tears went down his face as he stopped crying. "I got something for you, by the way." He said. Natsuki looked at him. "You do?" She asked. He nodded.

_Minutes later..._

Hikaru and Natsuki went back to Hikaru's house. He then opened the oven amd showed Natsuki. Green cupcakes with pink frosting. "Did...Did you really make this, Hikaru?" She asked. Hikaru nodded. "Read one of them." He said. She looked at one and softly gasped.

One of the cupcakes said  _I Love You._

Natsuki smiled and looked at him. "I love you too, Hikaru!" She said. "I'll always be here for you. I'll take good care of you!" Hikaru smiled as he heard those genuine words. "Thank you, Natsuki...Thank you..." Hikaru said.


	7. Rotting Cupcake: Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Bad Ending for Natsuki. Natsuki goes to Hikaru's house, only to discover he is asleep...or is he?

_A ending I like to call...Rotting Cupcake._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said but was stopped by Natsuki. "Nope! I'll go after him!" Natsuki said and ran after him.   Sayori, Monika, and Yuri looked at each other. Their eyes were filled with worry. They hoped the cute tsundere of the club won't get hurt by Hikaru.

As Natsuki ran to catch up with him, she tripped and fell. "Ouch!" She yelped. She was okay and got up. "I better go see what's up with him." She said and continued running. Once arriving to Hikaru's house, she knocked on the door. "Hikaru, open up!" She said. No response. She noticed the key to his house. After 2 hours of waiting, she unlocked the door and got in.

"Hikaru? Hikaru?" She called out. No response. She sighed. "I guess I'm gonna have to check the rooms." She said and looked around the house. She knew that Hikaru wasn't in the living room. She checked the kitchen. Nothing. She checked the bathroom in his house. Nothing. She checked the closet. Nothing. She checked guest rooms. Nothing. The only place she hasn't checked is his room. She opened the door to see Hikaru on the bed.

He didn't respond to her opening the room door. "Hikaru?" She asked. No response. She then walked up to him and tried to shake him awake. "Hikaru, wake up." She said. Nothing. She then shaked him again, this time harder. "Hikaru!" She called out. Nothing.

He then fell off the bed. Natsuki took a few steps back. She then took his right hand gently and felt it. He was lifeless. Natsuki then looked at Hikaru's left hand to reveal a bottle of pills. He had committed suicide by overdose. She then began crying and she hugged Hikaru's lifeless body.

He's gone. Forever. She then saw a paper on his desk. She grabbed it gently and read it.

_Rotting Cupcake_

_When I'm_ _born, a cupcake is also born._   
_As I grow up, so does the cupcake._   
_But I can no longer fight like a knight._   
_The cupcake can no longer fight to stay fresh._

_As I can no longer fight, the dark gets strong._   
_The cold is too much for the cupcake._   
_The voices is too much for me to hear._   
_As I get weaker, the cupcakes starts to rot._

_As I say my final goodbyes and die,_   
_The cupcake also says goodbye and rots._   
_The cupcake can no longer be fresh._

_Rotting, Rotting, Rotting Cupcake._

_ P.S Natsuki, if you are reading this, I want to let you know that I love you and it was nobody's fault. Look in the oven. I left something for you. _

Natsuki cried even further. She walked into the kitchen as she cried. Tears blurried her vision and she wiped the tears off. She opened the oven to reveal two white colored cupcakes with blue frosting on it. She took both of them out to see they had messages.

One of them cupcakes said  _I Love You_ while the other cupcake said  _Goodbye_. Natsuki cried even more. She then called 911.

Once the ambulance arrived, they pronounce Hikaru dead and took him away. Natsuki had texted the girls the heartbreaking news. Sayori, Monika, and Yuri arrived. Their eyes were red from crying like Natsuki's eyes were.

Natsuki returned to the school to see her manga collection. She was gonna miss reading with him. She opened a manga to see the diagonal crease on one of the pages from the closet incident. She cried and tears fell on the page. She closed it and returned it to her collection.

She also looked in her bag to see she had the cupcakes Hikaru baked for her before he killed himself. With a sob, she took a bite from one of them.

Hikaru, her only love, the one that understood her problems, is gone.

Gone away from her arms.


	8. Amber Aura: Yuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Good Ending for Yuri. Yuri, the shy girl of the Literature Club and who loves knives, decides to go to Hikaru's house. Only to see something...horrific.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is gonna be an attempted suicide. Be aware.

_A ending I like to call...Amber Aura._

The girls then looked at each other. "I'll go after him." Sayori said but was stopped by Yuri. "No, I'll handle it." Yuri said and ran after him. Sayori, Monika, and Natsuki looked at each other. Their eyes were filled with worry. Yuri was a shy girl. But she seemed to have enough bravery to follow Hikaru. They hoped that she will be okay and that Hikaru won't harm her. 

As Yuri ran, she saw Hikaru running down his neighborhood to his house through a window of the school. She looked closely, only to see a small knife. Where did he get that? Did he had it in his bag? She didn't know. She kept running. As she arrived in the street of his neighborhood, she saw Hikaru going into his house. She then ran there and knocked on his door. No response. "H-Hikaru?" She asked. No response. She sighed and decided to wait until night. She walked back to her house and she changed into her casual clothes. A beige colored turtleneck sweater with black leggings. 

_Time skip to night time..._

Yuri then knocked on the door again as she arrived after she left. She looked at one of the windows to see a flash of brown before curtain were pulled over the windows. She then heard footsteps. Was he gonna answer the door? Yuri didn't know. But suddenly the footsteps stopped and Hikaru seemed to speed walk back to his room, because she heard a room door close. Yuri then noticed a key to his house. Did he drop it and not notice it? Either way, she picked it up and unlocked the door. She opened the door to see Hikaru's house after waiting 10 minutes. No sign of him in the kitchen or living room. "I guess I need to check around the house." Yuri said and began looking around.

She decided to check in the bathroom. Nothing. She then checked in the closet. Nothing. She then knew that there was a place she didn't check. His bedroom. She then opened the door. Only to see something horrifying. "H-Hikaru?!" She yelled. Hikaru was startled by this. "Y-Yuri?!" He replied back. Yuri then noticed the cuts on his arms. Cuts were on his left and right arm. There were 10 cuts on each arm. All of them were bleeding. ' _So these are recent..._ ' Yuri thought to herself. She noticed the same small knife in Hikaru's hand. The knife was covered in blood.

She examined the cuts. These cuts were a little bit deep. A little bit **_too_** deep. He was trying to kill himself by losing blood. He was trying to kill himself by cutting his arms. "I-It's not what you...think..." Hikaru said and fell to the ground. "H-Hikaru?!" She called out. She ran to him. He was going delirious as he was losing more blood. He was slowly dying. "Y-Yuri...I...I..." He started but couldn't say anything. "I...I...I...I...I'm..." Hikaru started but trailed off as his vision was getting blurry. Yuri then looked at him to see his eyes slowly closing. "Hikaru, whatever you do, do not go to sleep!" Yuri said and called 911. During this, Hikaru was telling her to not call 911 as he wanted to die. Yuri didn't listen to him as she felt concerned for him. "I don't care what you say, you are going to the hospital." Yuri said in a stern tone. Hikaru whimpered and stopped protesting. "N...No..." Hikaru said as he passed out in her arms. 

_Time skip to a few minutes later..._

Hikaru was taken away to the hospital. Yuri went with the ambulance through the truck as she felt even more concerned for him. She had texted the girls of what happened. They were all shocked about it. They showed concern for him.

_Sayori: No...Hikaru, why...?_

_Monika: Oh my god..._

_Natsuki: Holy crap...That's serious..._

Yuri sighed and put her phone away. Once they arrived in the hospital, Hikaru was taken into the emergency room. Yuri decided to wait in the waiting room.

_Minutes later..._

A doctor came out. Yuri stood up quickly. "How is he, doctor? Is he gonna be okay?" Yuri asked. The doctor nodded. "He's okay." The doctor replied. "We managed to stop the bleeding from the cuts on his arms." Yuri nodded. "M-May I see him?" The doctor nodded and let her in the room.

Yuri saw Hikaru's arms bandaged. She walked to him and touched his face gently. This seemed to wake him up. He woke up to see Yuri. "Y-Yuri?" He asked. "W-Where am I?" Yuri made a sad smile. "You're in the hospital." She replied. "What were you thinking of trying to kill yourself?"

Hikaru winced.

_**Pathetic...You're pathetic like her.** _

_**She doesn't really care about you.** _

_**How come you never cut deeper?** _

_**What made you not cut deeper in your arms?** _

Hikaru winced even more. "Make it stop..." He softly begged to the voices. He then looked at Yuri. "W-Why do you care about me, Yuri?" He asked. "B-Because I like you...I love you." Yuri confessed. She was blushing. Hikaru smiled. "I love you too, Yuri." He replied. Yuri smiled. "Are you going to see a psychiatrist?" She asked.

Hikaru nodded. "Yes." He said. "I think I'm going to see one once I recover." Yuri smiled. "That's good." She said. "Hikaru, I'm always going to be here for you. Just promise me you won't do this again." Hikaru smiled and nodded. "From now on, I'll take care of you." Hikaru smiled even more as he heard those genuine words. "Thank you, Yuri...Thank you..." Hikaru said to Yuri.


	9. Bloody Road: Yuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Bad Ending for Yuri. She and Hikaru confess their love for each other, only for the moment to end...fatally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hikaru does not run out of the classroom. So that's the difference in this ending.

_A ending I like to call...Bloody Road._

****Hikaru stood there, realizing what he had done. "I...I'm sorry, girls." He said. He slowly began crying. Monika tried to get up but her leg still hurted from the kick. The kick was pretty strong. It felt so strong like One Punch Man. (Sorry, had to xD). Yuri was the first to get up and hug Hikaru. "I forgive you, Hikaru." She said with a small smile. Sayori was the second to get up. She also got up and hugged him. "I know it was the voices in your head that told you to do this." Sayori said. Monika finally got up and also hugged Hikaru. Natsuki also got up and hugged him. Hikaru then hugged back. It felt so...loving. These girls really care for him. Just like the way he care-

_**You're so stupid...** _

_**Why should they care for someone like you?** _

_**You're disgusting...** _

Hikaru screamed. "AAAAAAAHHH!" The girls then hugged him deeper. Hikaru also hugged back. After a few minutes, they broke up the hug. "T-Thanks, girls..." Hikaru said. They smiled. "M-May I speak to Yuri? Alone?" Hikaru asked to the rest of the girls. Sayori, Monika, and Natsuki showed faces of concern. "Please, everyone...Leave so me and Hikaru can speak." Yuri said. The other girls left the school and waited outside. "Y-Yuri...There is something I must tell you." Hikaru said. "What is it?" Yuri asked. "I...I..." Hikaru started but trailed off. "Y-You what?" Yuri asked as she slowly began to blush. "I...I love you, Yuri." Hikaru said. Yuri blushed even more. "Y-You...what?" Yuri asked.

"I love you, Yuri. I always have." Hikaru said. Yuri's face was entirely red. "I...I...I love you too, Hikaru." She replied to him. Hikaru smiled. "Thank goodness." Hikaru said and hugged Yuri. Yuri hugged back. Hikaru hopes that it would shut the voices quiet. But sadly, it didn't. Instead, it made it worse. Very, very, very. Very worse. The voices then got stronger and louder. 

_**You disgust me...** _

_**Get out and end your life now...** _

_**You're so stupid...** _

_**You're so pathetic...** _

Hikaru winced and cried out. " _ **AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!**_ " Hikaru cried out at the top of his lungs. Yuri hugged him. Suddenly, Hikaru then pushed her back. Hikaru was then shaking on the ground, kicking his legs around and crying while screaming. Yuri began to cry herself. She couldn't bear the sight to see Hikaru suffer like this. Tears kept falling down his face. Hikaru shut his eyes tightly. The voices was too much for him to bear. He kept on crying. He suddenly stopped. He was going to shut those voices. Once and for all.

Suddenly, Hikaru grabbed Yuri's bag and found a kitchen knife. How did he knew she had a knife in her bag? Maybe because she told him she has a thing for knives. "N-No! What are you doing, Hikaru?!" Yuri asked. Hikaru made a genuine smile.  "I'm gonna end it. I'm gonna end the voices. I'm gonna tell them to shut up. I'm gonna end it. I'm going to end the darkness in my head." Hikaru said. "I'm tired of fighting. I give up.  ** _I'm done_**."

Hikaru then smiled. "I...I love you, Yuri." He said. "It's not your fault for driving me to this point."

And with that, he stabbed himself in the chest. Yuri screamed as tears streaked down her face. He stabbed himself again and again until he fell to the ground. He stabbed himself in the chest 5 times. Yuri closed her eyes and put her back against a wall and began crying loudly. The love of her life was gone. Those voices had taken him away from her. He was gone for good. She kept on crying. She then texted Monika, Sayori, and Natsuki of what just happened.

_Sayori: Hikaru, no!_

_Monika: Oh my god...This can't be happening..._

_Natsuki: Oh my god...No way..._

Yuri kept on crying. She then called 911. After the ambulance arrived, they ruled it as a suicide and pronounced him dead at the scene. They took his lifeless body away. Yuri kept on crying and sat in a corner of the room. Sayori, Monika, and Natsuki arrived and hugged Yuri to comfort her as she cried in their arms. They looked at the blood puddle Hikaru's body left behind. It just laid there. 

As Yuri's sobbing died down, it was just filled with silence as they stared at the blood puddle.


	10. Lonely Lonely Hikaru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an additional Bad Ending. After no one goes to Hikaru's aid, something horrific happens that changes the nature of the Literature Club.

_A ending I like to call...Lonely Lonely Hikaru._

No one decided to go after him since they knew he wasn't in the mood to talk to any of them right now. "I never seen him like this before." Sayori said. "You never have?" Monika asked. Sayori shook her head no. "He only told me about his condition yesterday." Sayori replied to Monika. "Well, all we know is that the condition he has is very serious." Natsuki said. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Should we actually go visit him?" Sayori asked. Monika nodded. "I think we should." She said. Everyone nodded in agreement and headed out to go see Hikaru.

_Once they arrived..._

Sayori knocked on the door. No response. Monika knocked on the door. No response. Natsuki knocked on the door. No response. Yuri knocked on the door. No response. Suddenly, Natsuki turned the doorknob to reveal the door was unlocked. "Is he in here?" Sayori asked. Everybody shrugged and went inside.

As they looked around, Monika found a poem. She picked it up and read it.

_Strong Voices_

_I want the voices to get out my head._   
_But these voices..._   
_They are too strong...Too strong._   
_I can't handle it any further._

_As the voices get stronger,_   
_I get weaker and weaker._   
_I don't feel right._   
_My chest hurts from the strong voices._

_I want those voices to leave._   
_I want to tell them to get out my head._   
_But these voices..._   
_These voices are too strong..._

_They got me..._   
_They got me..._   
_Goodbye, Literature Club._   
_I'll be waiting...on the rooftop...of the school..._

_Goodbye, Sayori..._   
_Goodbye, Monika..._   
_Goodbye, Natsuki..._   
_Goodbye, Yuri..._

_Goodbye, everyone..._   
_Goodbye..._

Once they all read it, they gasped. They ran out of the house to go find him.

_Meanwhile..._

Hikaru was standing in the rooftop of the school. Hikaru's arms were shaking as he cried and let out shaky sighs. He then dropped his bag. He did a small smile as tears still fell down his face. He was going to end it. He was going to tell the voices to be quiet.

**_What are you waiting for? Do it!_ **

**_Jump! Jump off right now!_ **

Hikaru didn't wince this time. He then jumped off the rooftop. At the same time, the girls came in to the school rooftop.  "NO!" They all screamed as tears fell down their faces. It was too late. They ran and looked down. They saw Hikaru making one genuine smile. This smile wasn't filled with anger or sadness. It was filled with happiness. Before entirely falling, Hikaru said some last words. "I'm glad I could be a part of the Literature Club...It was really fun...At least, this happiness I had from it...can last forever...Goodbye...Goodbye..." With that, he fell to the ground, killing him.

Sayori, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri screamed when Hikaru hit the ground from jumping off the school rooftop. Sayori began crying hard. Natsuki winced and looked away. Yuri covered her face with her hands and looked away. Monika's eyes widened.

With a shaking hand after seeing the horrific sight, Monika called the police. When the police and ambulance arrived, they questioned the girls and the girls replied that Hikaru jumped off as he suffered from depression and schizophrenia. The police then ruled Hikaru's death as a suicide and the ambulance took Hikaru's body away

They wished they could have went to him and talked to him rather than not go talk to him. Now Hikaru is dead.

_Days later..._

Sayori, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri have attended Hikaru's funeral along with the rest of the school except people who have bullied him. Sayori was wearing a black shirt and a grey skirt. Her red bow on her head has been replaced with a black bow. Monika was wearing a black dress coat with a purple shirt underneath it and a black skirt. In addition, Monika's white bow was replaced with a black bow. Natsuki was wearing a grey dress coat with a black shirt underneath it and a grey skirt. In addition, Natsuki's red ribbons were replaced with black ribbons. Yuri was wearing a black dress coat with a white shirt underneath and she was wearing a black skirt. In addition, Yuri's purple hair clips were replaced with black hair clips.

As people cried as they mourned over Hikaru's death. From what the girls have been told from the doctors, the fall broke Hikaru's left arm, right leg, and had damaged his head. But what killed him was when the fall also broke Hikaru's spine. Sayori too cried along with the people crying in the funeral. In fact, all the girls cried during a funeral. Sayori then got up and spoke. "Hikaru was my greatest childhood friend I could ever ask for." Sayori said. "In addition, he truly cared for everyone. I'm gonna miss him very much." She then sat back down, crying even more. Everybody in the school said different things about Hikaru. As Hikaru's casket was lowered into the ground, Sayori cried even hard. Natsuki began whimpering. Yuri slowly began murmuring and whimpering. Monika began crying alongside Sayori.

Everyone was gonna miss Hikaru. His death had different effects.

Sayori refused to write poems. Natsuki didn't want to bake cupcakes or read manga at all. Yuri kept cutting herself. Her cuts were a little deep than her usual ones. Monika didn't disband the club, for she knew Hikaru wouldn't want that. When they do their favorite activities, they get flashbacks of Hikaru/ His eyes, his personality, his smile. Was he really hiding his troubles behind that sweet yet pained smile? Was his smile fake? Did he smile so he can hide his troubles so that they wouldn't know until now? No one knows, for that the answers died along with him. 

Monika also refused to write poems. In fact, everyone refused to write poems. They would write only one occasionally.

They still feel grief over Hikaru's death. Monika began crying again and she covered her face with her hands. Sayori joined in the crying and hugged Monika. Natsuki and Yuri joined in too as they began crying also.

For that, Hikaru, the one that they truly fell in love with, was gone for good.

Gone forever from their arms...


	11. The Story (Hikaru's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the story from Hikaru's POV. So basically, you will see more of his thoughts.

_The main story..._

I am sitting on my bed. I just had another mental breakdown. This was pointless. This always keep happening to me. I suffered from depression when I was a young teenager. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, a disorder that affects my ability to think in my mind. This condition also affects my behavior. Just like my mental breakdown. I also hear voices in my head. This had also affected my mood in the Literature Club. When it came to sharing poems and when one of the girls comes up to me, I always say the poem is okay and tell them to move on to the next person. I always get looks of concern from them but they do what I tell them to so that it wouldn't make me feel worse.

**_You're so stupid..._ **

**_You're so pathetic..._ **

I clutched onto my head with both hands. "No...stop, please!" I begged to the voices. The voices in my head continued to call me names. Every time I hear these voices, they don't go away from me. I cannot control them. It feels like it gets stronger and stronger every time I hear them. I began shaking. These voices were always so fierce with me every time they talk inside my head. It toils with my sanity. 

**_Pathetic...why join that stupid club?_ **

**_You're worthless..._ **

"PLEASE STOP!" I cried out. I began crying again. I just want the voices to leave me alone. I always wondered why the voices never leave me alone. "WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE MY HEAD?!" I cried out again.

As I try to calm myself down after a few minutes of crying out, I heard knocking on my door. Who could it be at this time? Was it a angry neighbor who was going to tell me I'm screaming so damn loud? I looked out the window as tears were still streaking down my face. It was Sayori, my childhood friend who recommended the Literature Club to me. She is the Vice President of the club. "What does she want...?" I quietly said. I studied her.

She has a worried look on her face. She knocked again. I sighed and walked downstairs. What does she want? What does she want from me? Did she hear me screaming?

**_Don't answer the door. She just wants to call you worthless._ **

**_Ugh, she is horrible just like you are._ **

I clutched onto my head again. "S...Shut up!" I yelled. To be honest, I hoped that Sayori didn't hear me. I then heard knocking again, this time with a voice. "H-Hikaru? Are you okay?" Sayori asked. I then grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. "I'm fine, Sayori." I said. I made a smile through a pained expression. It feels like the smile was forced. Which, in fact, was. I'm trying to hide my sadness so that she won't have to worry about me just like how I worried about her when she had depression. She made a full recovery thanks to me and Monika giving her advice.

_**You disgust me...** _

I shivered at hearing the voices in my head. Sayori seemed to think it was because of the cold temperature outside. But Sayori looked like she wasn't buying any excuse that I make. I should really stop making excuses. One day, I will tell the girls in the Literature Club. But I actually don't think I can hold the truth in much longer. "I'm serious, Hikaru." She said to me, her concern showing even more. "Are you really okay?" I then shook my head no. "Ok, fine." I said. "You got me. I'm not fine." I'm just gonna tell her so that I won't have to worry about it. Sayori began to feel even more concerned for me. "Just tell me what's wrong." She said. After all, she worries about me. She worries about everybody. Then again, that is what she does best. 

"I guess I didn't tell you." I said. "The truth is...I suffer from schizophrenia and depression..." Sayori covered her mouth with her hands out of shock. "You...You suffer...from depression?" She asked. I nodded. "Well, now you know." I said. God, I feel even more worse. Why did I tell her? I noticed that Sayori had tears in her eyes. She then hugged me. "I'm so sorry!" She said. "I should have known!" I then hugged back. It's really not her fault. Sure, she suffered from depression. But in this case, she got better from the advice from Monika and me. I was literally hearing these voices while I was giving advice to her. She didn't know, but now she does. 

"It's okay, Sayori." I said. "It's not your fault. It's mine." Sayori shook her head. "I'll make sure to let Monika know!" She said. I then gasped and shook my head. I don't want no one to know! At least, not yet! "N-No!" I said, the smile fading from my face. This sudden yelling from my mouth startled Sayori.  "Please...don't..." I continued as I felt tears coming down my face.

"H-Hikaru...? Are you...crying?" Sayori asked to me. I just want to be alone. I need some sleep.  "Just...just leave..." I said and closed the door. I think this worried Sayori even further.

**_You're so pathetic, telling her to leave just like that. You're so stupid._ **

I clutched onto my head once again and decided to go to bed.

_The next day..._

I got up and did my usual morning routine.

**_Pathetic...Pathetic...Pathetic...You will always be pathetic._ **

I clutched onto my head. "Shut up!" I yelled. Once I was wearing my school uniform and shoes, I grabbed his bag and left the house. I didn't want to go to school but it's worth it so that the club won't have to worry about me.

_Time skip_

Once arriving in the Literature Club, Sayori looked at me. "Good after-" I was cut off as Sayori grabbed my arms tightly. "S-Sayo-" I was cut off as she dragged me gently to Monika. "Hikaru, are you okay?" Monika asked to me. "Yes, I'm fine." I said. Why was Monika suddenly asking me this? Was it because she realized I was sad the entire time behind my fake smile?

**_Stop lying, you pathetic idiot._ **

I then winced and shut my eyes. "Doesn't seem like you're fine, Hikaru." Sayori said to me. "I told her about your condition." My eyes opened only to show that my eyes widened. Natsuki and Yuri overheard and came up. "What happened?" Yuri asked. "Yeah, what gives?" Natsuki asked. ' _Why did Sayori do this...? I told her not to do it! So why did she...?_ ' I thought in his head. I can see the confusion in their eyes. I looked at Sayori and Monika. Sayori's sky blue eyes and Monika's emerald green eyes were filled with concern. They wanted to know if I'm okay or not. I can feel sudden anger inside of my body. This anger feels...uncontrollable. 

**_See? She betrayed you._ **

**_What are you waiting for? Do it!_ **

**_Yell at her!_ **

**_YELL AT ALL OF THEM_  ** _**!!!!** _

I yelled. This yell I let out was filled with anger, betrayed, and hurt. I suddenly turned around and slapped Sayori across her face, which made her fall. Everyone gasped at this. I then kicked Monika's leg, which caused her to fall backward. I then punched Natsuki in the stomach, causing her to crash into desks. For Yuri, I couldn't hit her. I didn't want to. I know I don't want to hurt her. She is too shy. Sure, she is into knives, but I don't hate her for it. I then tried to hold my hand back, only for the voices to get stronger in my head. 

_**You're so pathetic. Hurt her. Hurt her!** _

I had no choice but to listen to the voices. I then slapped Yuri across her face. She yelped and fell to the ground. I'm not sure if the girls don't know if I really wanted to hurt them or not. The uncontrollable anger came back to my body.  "Why did you tell Monika, Sayori?!" I yelled. "Why?! Why?!" I felt betrayed. I really did feel betrayed. How could Sayori do this to me? I told her not to tell them but she did anyway. Is she really worried about me this much? If she did worry about me, then she shouldn't have to tell Monika about my damn condition!

_**Wow, you are so pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic idiot.** _

I clutched onto my head with both of my hands. These voices were really fierce. They are too strong now. " _AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_ " I cried out at the top of my lungs. Sayori, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri looked at me as they held onto the part of the body they got hurt at. I knew I couldn't stay here. They're mad at me. Sure, their looks showed no anger but it feels like they are mad in the inside. I can't stay here. I need to go back home. I slowly reached my bag and grabbed it. I looked at them and made a weak smile with tears coming down my face.

I then ran out of the classroom while beginning to cry.

_**You're so stupid. Just go and die already.** _

I yelled as I ran out of the school. These voices are really strong now. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.


	12. Rainbow (Hikaru's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Rainbow ending but in Hikaru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is an attempted suicide here. Be aware.

I kept on running. Tears were still falling down my face. Some teachers heard me scream while I was running but they didn't come out of their classrooms for some reason. Maybe because they didn't want to disturb me? I didn't know to be honest. Once unlocking the door, I ran inside my house. I locked the door as I got in. I looked in my hand to see my key was gone. I didn't care though. 

As I was inside my house, I saw Sayori through the windows of my house. I ran to the bathroom. I grabbed a knife along the way. Once closing the door, I looked at my wrists. I rolled up my sleeves (both left and right to be precise), I looked at my arms. There was nothing on it. I looked at my wrists once again.

_**What are you waiting for? Do it!** _

I began silently sobbing. I then put the knife on my wrist and...

As I slit my left wrist, my crying got louder. No one heard me. I felt the steel blade in my wrist. This hurted so bad, yet it felt so good. I stopped to see my left wrist bleeding terribly. I did the same to my right wrist. As I looked at my wrists bleeding, I smile faintly. I deserve this, right? I deserve to die, right? I deserve to suffer, right? My eyes began to get blurry and I fall to the ground. My blood flows down on the tiles of my bathroom floor.  I heard knocking on the front door. "H-Hikaru...?" The voice said. It was Sayori. I chose not to respond.

I heard the front door open. Damn, she unlocked the door. I'm so stupid for dropping my key. "Hikaru?" she called out. I can tell she was looking for me. I don't care though. I'm dying as I'm losing more blood. My vision got blurry and blurry. I heard a yell and phone sounds before I lose consciousness. I heard someone talking. This voice was Sayori's. "Why, Hikaru?" She asked to me. "Why...?"

_Minutes later..._

I heard beeping and hospital sounds. I didn't wake up though. As I laid on the hospital bed, I heard doctors walking down the hall. I heard a doctor talking to someone. Both of them were outside my room. "We...stop the blood...from leaking out..." I only heard those words. I couldn't catch the rest of the doctor's sentence. "I heard a door opening and someone walking in. I began to wake up. ' _No...I don't want to wake up...please...I want to stay like this..._ ' I thought in my head. My attempt to die...it failed. This began to make me feel even worse. Why am I still alive?! "H-huh...?" I said while waking up. "W-Why am I alive...?"

**_You disgust me...I can't believe you survive that._ **

I clutched onto my head. Suddenly, Sayori hugged me. "What were you thinking, Hikaru?!" She asked. She began crying again. "I almost lost you!" I didn't hug back.

**_Don't listen to her._ **

**_She's just trying to guilt trip you._ **

I winced. These voices still want to torture me for surviving that. "W-Why do you care for me, Sayori?" I asked to her. I need to know, at least, a reason. Why did she care for me? I don't deserve this. I deserve no one's care. "Why I care for you?" She replied. "Because I care for you! Because I like you! Because I love you!" I felt stunned at this. Did she have feelings for me? Is she saying this so that it would torture me? Is she telling the truth? I need to know if these words are genuine or not. "Sayori...you...you...you love me?" I asked. Sayori nodded. "Of course!" She replied to me.

I then attempted to smile, but the voices in my head came back. 

**_Those words are lies. Don't listen to her._ **

I suddenly began crying. "Please stop..." I begged to the voices. I didn't say this to Sayori, but I said this to the voices. If I did say this to Sayori, she would feel hurt and she would be heartbroken, as this means I rejected her confession. "I...I love you too, Sayori." I replied to her. Sayori looked at me. "You really mean it?" She asked. I nodded. "And I'm so sorry for slapping you." I added. I really didn't mean to. It just happens to be one of my symptoms of my condition. 

She shook her head. "It's fine." She said. "I know it was the voices in your head that told you to do it." She said. I nodded once again. 

**_You're so disgusting._ **

**_Why didn't you die?_ **

**_You're worthless..._ **

I then screamed. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I cried out at the top of my lungs. Sayori hugged me tightly. "I think...I think the rainclouds you had have now got inside my head..." I said as his eyes begin to fill with tears. I can feel her flinching a little bit as I mentioned the term 'rainclouds'. Doctors rushed in. Oh no...They heard me screaming. Did they think Sayori is attacking me? I hope not! Sayori then looked at them. "He suffers from schizophrenia" She said. "Is there anything that can help him?" She asked as I began crying as he was I hugging her.

_Minutes later..._

"I think...I think I'm ready to go look for a psychiatrist." I said. Sayori looked at me. "Are you sure?" Sayori asked. I nodded. "After all, you said you cared for me, right?" I asked. Sayori nodded. "I'll always be here for you, Hikaru." She said to me. I smiled. These words were so genuine and loving. That is what I love about her. "Thank you, Sayori...Thank you so much..." Hikaru said.


	13. Raincloud (Hikaru's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Raincloud ending in Hikaru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a suicide scene here. Including a little bit details of it. Be aware.

_An ending I like to call...Raincloud_

I kept on running. Tears were still falling down my face. Some teachers heard me scream while I was running but they didn't come out of their classrooms for some reason. Maybe because they didn't want to disturb me? I didn't know to be honest. Once unlocking the door, I stopped when I felt a presence. I turned around to see Sayori.

"Sayori...?" I quietly said. I turned around to see her. Why was she here? Why did she follow me? Why? Just why? "What are you doing here?" I asked. "I want to talk to you." She said as she walked up to me. "Why did you hurt us?" I just stared at her. "It happens to be one of my symptoms in my condition." I said. "Aggression." Sayori looked at me. "Are you hiding something from me?" She asked. My eyes widened. But I nodded anyway.

"The truth is, Sayori, is that I...I..." I'm stuttering. Damn it! "I-I love you." I can see the shock on her face as I said that. She smiled. "I-I love you too, Hikaru." She replied to me. I smiled back. But for some reason, my heart is hurting. Why is it hurting? What's wrong with me? What's happening to me?

_**She's lying, she doesn't love you.** _

_**You're disgusting.** _

_**What are you waiting for? Go inside your house!** _

I clutched onto my head and screamed at the top of my lungs. " _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!**_ " I then looked at Sayori and gave her one more weak smile before running inside my house and locking the door. 

As I was inside my house, I saw Sayori through the windows of my house. Her face was filled with concern. I heard knocking. "H-Hikaru...?" She asked through the front door. I felt the same uncontrollable anger again. "Go away!" I yelled. The uncontrollable anger faded.

I ran to the bathroom. I grabbed some rope along the way. Once closing the door, I looked at myself in the mirror. I rolled up my sleeves (both left and right to be precise), I looked at my arms. There was cuts on it. I have self-harmed before. It was painful, yet it felt so good. I removed my grey blazer and the brown sweater vest. I attempted to remove my red tie. Then, I chose not to, leaving the tie loosened.

I looked at the rope and tied it to a hangman noose. I'm tired of fighting it. I then looked at the ceiling and saw one of the parts that can be used. The tied the rope there. I looked at the oval shape where the head is suppose to go. I slowly placed my head there. This has to happen, right? I was standing on the closed toilet seat.

I began slowly crying. I stopped for a minute and went to grab a paper and a pen. I wrote a note. 

_Goodbye_

_I have suffered from depression and_ _schizophrenia for a very long time already. I can't deal with it anymore. It causes me so much pain. So much pain that I can't bear with it. I can't deal with it anymore. I give up._   ** _I'm done._**

_I can't fight it anymore, no matter how much I want to. I want to be with Sayori and to stay by her side forever but this will never happen._

_Monika, Natsuki, or Yuri, if you are reading this, I loved the Literature Club so much. It always gives me happiness every time I come to a club meeting. But my happiness is gone now._

_Sayori, if you are reading this, please know that I still love you and that it's not your fault for dragging me to a breaking point. I wanted to spend my life with you but it's now no longer possible._

_Goodbye, everyone...Goodbye..._

I sighed. I was still crying. I stood on the toilet seat again. This is it. I put the rope around my neck. I let out a shaky sigh and...

I jumped off the toilet seat. The rope was tight around my throat. I gasped for and I wheezed. This pain I feel is so unbearable, yet it feels so good. I suddenly felt a change. I changed my mind. I attempted to untie the rope. **_But to no avail_**. "N-No...! L-Let me go...!" I wheezed. I attempted to untie the rope again. It was tight. A side of my shirt fell over my right shoulder. I guess I must have unbuttoned my white shirt while I was removing my vest without knowing. I began to feel blood in my fingers. "P-Please...no...I changed my mind..." I said. "Sayori...I...love you..." With that, I stopped struggling as I lost my life as I slowly asphyxiate. 

Time passed on and a yell happens in the bathroom.

_Minutes later..._

**_Note: This is still in Hikaru's POV, but as his ghost._ **

People came in and took my lifeless body down. After that, they covered my body with a white sheet and wrapped it. Afterward, they took my body I used to be in away. I saw Sayori crying. Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki came in to see the sight. Sayori was holding the suicide note I wrote. I began to hear talking. "What happened, Sayori?" Monika asked. "He...Hikaru hanged himself." Sayori said. She was holding the suicide note in her hands. Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri felt horrified. "No...way..." Yuri said. "Oh my god..." Natsuki said. Monika's eyes widened but she didn't say anything.

She took the suicide note I wrote from Sayori's hands gently and read it.

After she finished reading my note, Monika dropped the note as she felt tears coming in her eyes. After Natsuki and Yuri read it, they felt an urge of tears. Sayori began crying hard. She and I confessed to each other and we both hoped to have a life together.

But now we can never have that.


	14. Beautiful Reality (Hikaru's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Beautiful Reality ending in Hikaru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is attempt suicide here. Be aware.

I kept on running. Tears were still falling down my face. Some teachers heard me scream while I was running but they didn't come out of their classrooms for some reason. Maybe because they didn't want to disturb me? I didn't know to be honest. Once unlocking the door, I ran inside my house. I locked the door as I got in. I looked in my hand to see my key was gone. I didn't care though. Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? My thoughts were interrupted by a knock. The uncontrollable anger came back. "Go away!" I yelled.

I ran to my room. Once in, I grabbed some rope I hid in my drawer for a long time. I tied it into a hangman noose. I heard the front door open. "Hikaru?" A voice said. Monika? What is she doing here in my house? She must be looking for me. If that's the case, then why? Why is she looking for me? It doesn't matter now. With the rope, I-

I was cut off when my room door opened. It was Monika. "M-Monika?!" I asked, startled. My eyes widened. Why is she here?! Did Sayori sent her after me? If not, then how did Monika knew where I live? Did she see me run in the house? None of those thoughts mattered now, because Monika, the president of the Literature Club, is standing in my room.  She had opened the door to see me holding a noose. Monika's emerald green eyes also widened and she covered her mouth with both of her hands. She knew I was trying to kill himself by hanging. "I-It's not what it looks like...!" I said. Monika's shocked turned into a stern face. I knew she was not going to let me end my pathetic life. 

Monika then grabbed the noose from my hands. I tried to grab it, but Monika threw it out the room. No! I want to end my life! I want to give the voices in my head what they want. Why is Monika saving my life?! Just why?! Why won't I die?! "M-Monika! What are yo-" I was cut off by a embrace from Monika. "Hikaru...please don't kill yourself." Monika said. "You know we all care for you. You know this isn't right." I shook my head. "Why do you all care about me?" I asked. "I don't deserve it." Why do people care about me? Why does Monika care about me? Monika shook her head. "Of course you deserve it, Hikaru." Monika replied. "After all, your reality is filled with people that care for you. Do you really want to throw that away?"

I have no idea of what she meant by that. "I...No..." I said. I began to feel an urge to cry. This only hurts my heart even more. "To be honest, I was hiding something from you." Monika said with a slight blush. What was she hiding from me? "And that is...?" I asked. "I'm...I'm in love with you." Monika confessed, her blush getting strong. I began to blush as well. Monika, the popular girl, is in love with a loser like me? Wow. Did she see something in me that I cannot even notice?

**_These words are lies!_ **

**_You know she is gonna betray you later..._ **

I clutched onto my head. Why does the voices always ruin the happiest moments I come across to? "Please, stop!" I yelled to the voices. Monika hugged me tightly. I need to tell Monika my true feelings for her. "Monika...I'm also in love with you!" I confessed as I tried my best to fight against the voices. Monika smiled and kept hugging me. I want to show her my love and affection for her. I hugged back as I cried.

We decided to be a couple and I have also decided that I would go see a psychiatrist to help with my depression and I have also decided to go get help for my schizophrenia as I don't want to hear voices in my head anymore. I told Monika that the voices caused me so much pain and that I was listening to the voices. I also explained to Monika that I want to be by her side forever. Monika smiled. "You always will be by my side forever, Hikaru." She said. I smiled and hugged her. Monika hugged back. Monika, the President of the Literature Club, and I has become a couple.

Monika texted the girls that I was alright and they were a couple. Sayori felt happy for us. Natsuki was also happy about it and said she will bake cupcakes for us. Yuri also felt happy for them but Monika knew she was sulking. "I promise, Hikaru." She said. I looked up at her. She promises what? What does she mean by that? "You promise what?" I asked. "I promise that I will always be by your side like you promised you will be by my side." She replied. I smiled even more. Maybe this isn't gonna be bad after all.  "Thank you, Monika...Thank you very much." I said to her.


	15. My Reality (Hikaru/MC's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the My Reality ending from Hikaru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a suicide here. Be aware.

I kept on running. Tears were still falling down my face. Some teachers heard me scream while I was running but they didn't come out of their classrooms for some reason. Maybe because they didn't want to disturb me? I didn't know to be honest. Once unlocking the door, I ran inside my house. I locked the door as I got in. I looked in my hand to see my key was gone. I didn't care though. Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I decided against to stay in my house and I instantly ran out of there.

I just kept running and running. It's not fair. It's not fair that everyone has a happy life. I suffer from the demons of my voices. Why am I the one out of the Literature Club who literally suffers from the voices in my head?! Why is this happening to me?! What did I do to deserve it?! I didn't do anything! Tears began to streak down my face as I run. I reached my destination. A bridge. I hope that no one was going to save me. I don't want anyone to save me. Sure, I know people wants to save me, but I don't want that to happen to me. It feels like my heart is getting stabbed repeatedly by a sword. 

After all, it's just my heart telling me it hates me for anything I do. I smile through the tears. I took out a piece of paper. I had wrote a poem on it days ago. I know I didn't want to do this. But I just want to give the voices what they want. Me being dead. If they want that, I will gladly give it to them. Just as long as I stay asleep forever and as long as the voices can leave me alone for the rest of eternal sleep. I can still feel tears fall down my face. I can remember the day I found out that I was diagnosed with depression. In addition, I can also remember the day I found out I had schizophrenia. I was 7 years old when I found out about my schizophrenia. I was 12 when I was diagnosed with depression after I broke down crying so hard for no reason. It was pretty much a mental breakdown. 

After I found out about it, I didn't tell Sayori. Just like how she didn't tell me about her depression until now. But that was a while ago, She no longer suffers from her demons of her depression. But as a result, my heart hurted. Now it's time for me to end it.

_**What are you waiting for? Do it!** _

I clutched onto my head, wrinkling the paper in my hand as a result. I grabbed the rail. "Hikaru, no!" A voice said. I turned to see the voice was Monika. "M-Monika?" I said. What is she doing here? Why can't she just let me die? Monika then grabbed my arm. "Please...don't end your life like this, Hikaru." Monika said to me. Why is she preventing me from dying?

I shook my head. "Why do you care for me, Monika?" I asked. I really wanted to know the real reason behind it. "I care for you because I like you!" She confessed. "I love you, Hikaru!" I felt shocked from this. "Monika...I...I love you too..." I replied to her. With her by my side, I feel happy. "Come with me, I promise I'll stay by your side." Monika said. I nodded and took her hand as she held it out for me. "You know there is people that care for you in your reality. Please...don't try to do this again, Hikaru." Monika added in. I nodded. "I...I won't do this again...I promise, Monika." I replied to her. She nodded with a small smile on her face. Hopefully, nothing can ruin this happy moment of my life.

My other hand let go of the rail. I hope-

**_She's lying!_ **

**_She's a liar!_ **

**_She hates you!_ **

**_Jump off the bridge! Now!_ **

I fell on my knees and clutched onto my head and screamed at the top of my lungs. " _AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!_ " Monika turned around to see me crying out. The small smile that was on her face faded away with a frown filled with concern. She walked to me and hugged me. Suddenly, in a swift move, I pushed her away from me. While at that, I gave her the paper I wrote on.

Then, I grabbed the rail and then vault myself over the bridge.

Monika screamed as she attempted to grab my arm, but to no avail. As I fall to my death, I remember the peaceful memories I had in the Literature Club. I will cherish these memories. Even in death. I smile one last time before hitting the water, dying in the water's arms of comfort. 

The poem I wrote is this...

_My Reality_

_I'm in a reality where I'm cursed._   
_A reality that is cursed._   
_A cursed reality will never set me free._   
_As I hear voices in my head, they get stronger._   
_I can no longer fight it like a knight._

_I'm in a reality where I'm trapped._   
_Trapped like a small weak mouse._   
_The cursed reality I'm in is like a cage._   
_A cage that keeps me locked forever._

_I lose emotions like how an angel loses wings._   
_I can no longer fight anymore._   
_The voices get stronger and stronger._   
_Some reality I'm in._   
_Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye..._   
_Goodbye, cruel reality..._

 


	16. Sweet Cupcake (Hikaru/MC's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Sweet Cupcake ending in Hikaru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is an attempted suicide here. Be aware.

I kept on running. Tears were still falling down my face. Some teachers heard me scream while I was running but they didn't come out of their classrooms for some reason. Maybe because they didn't want to disturb me? I didn't know to be honest. Once unlocking the door, I ran inside my house. I locked the door as I got in. I looked in my hand to see my key was gone. I didn't care though. Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I decided against to stay in my house and I instantly ran out of there.

I ran back to the school. I instantly bolted upstairs to the school rooftop. As I ran through the halls, it felt like my heart was in a vice grip. It hurts. It hurts so much. So much that I can't bear it anymore. I just want to end it. I just want to give what the voices in my head want. After I got there, I decided to enjoy the sweet air the outside provided. After all, this may be the last time I'll enjoy the sweet air. I took out a piece of paper. I did wrote a poem on it days ago. I just simply stared at it. Suddenly, the voices came back in my head. 

**_What are you waiting for? Do it!_ **

**_Go! Jump off! Now!_ **

I clutched onto my head and I screamed. That was the worst move possible. I saw Sayori coming out of the school along with Monika and Yuri. I grabbed the rail of the rooftop. The girls turned up to see that I was about to jump off. They let out screams and ran back inside the school. Oh no. They are coming for me. No. Please! Don't come up here, girls! I just want to die! I just want to end the endless suffering I have suffered...So why are they coming up. I waited for a few minutes. Nothing. I sighed in relief. I looked back down to see the girls along with other students and teachers. They were telling me not to jump off. I looked at the girls  of the Literature Club closely. Sayori was on her phone. From what I can see, she seems to be typing a message. She was crying while doing this. Yuri had a worried look on her face. Monika had a megaphone. I then Natsuki running. I begin to overhear Sayori talking to Natsuki. "Natsuki, there you are!" Sayori said while crying. Monika began saying something through the megaphone.

"Hikaru, don't jump off!" Monika said. I winced. I didn't want to o this to be honest. But I just want to end the suffering. I saw Natsuki run inside the school. I didn't bother to hear Natsuki open the doors. I'm so pathetic. I'm nothing but a pathetic human being that will always fail at every single thing in the whole world. My arms were shaking as I cried. I was still crying as I still held a poem in my hand. Then, I dropped it. The voices in my head were getting really stronger.

_**What are you waiting for? Do it!** _

_**Jump off! Jump off right now!** _

****I then screamed. "AAAAAAHHHHH!" I then lunged forward, causing everyone to scream.

But...it was stopped as I didn't fall to the ground. Why didn't I die?! Why did it fail?! Everybody stopped and looked. I also looked and saw Natsuki grabbing me and pulling me away. "N-Natsuki?! What are you doing?" I asked. Does she really care about me this much? Natsuki then pulled me into a hug. "I'm saving your life! Duh!" She replied to me. Why is she saving my life? I don't deserve it.

"But...why?" I asked. "Why do you care about me?" I really wanted to know the real reason behind this. Natsuki glared at me. "Why? Why?!" She said. This startled me. Is she this mad at me because I was trying to kill myself? "Because I like you! Because I love you!" I then blushed when she said those words. Natsuki seemed to realize what she said, because she covered her mouth with her hands.

I then smiled as tears fell down my face. "I love you too, Natsuki." I replied to her. My heart slowly began to stop hurting. Natsuki then took her hands away from her mouth.

**_You disgust me._ **

**_She hates you! Don't listen to her!_ **

**_What a pathetic boy you are._ **

I began crying out. "MAKE IT STOP!" I cried out as I clutched onto my head. Natsuki then ran to me and hugged me. "It's okay, Hikaru." She said. "It's okay. I promise I'll be by your side forever." I nodded and I hugged her back. "Do you really promise that, Natsuki?" I asked, wanting to know if those words she said were genuine. If they weren't, I would lose it. Entirely. Natsuki nodded. "Absolutely." She replied.

I smiled as my tears went down my face as I stopped crying. "I got something for you, by the way." I said. Natsuki looked at me. "You do?" She asked. I nodded.

_Minutes later..._

Me and Natsuki went back to my house. I then opened the oven and showed Natsuki. Green cupcakes with pink frosting. "Did...Did you really make this, Hikaru?" She asked. I nodded. Baking with her really paid off. I learned a lot since that day we baked cupcakes together. "Read one of them." I said. She looked at one and softly gasped.

One of the cupcakes I had wrote on said  _I Love You._

Natsuki smiled and looked at me. "I love you too, Hikaru!" She said. "I'll always be here for you. I'll take good care of you!" I smiled as I heard those genuine words. I knew those words were so genuine. "Thank you, Natsuki...Thank you..." I said. With her by my side, it feels so wonderful.

 


End file.
